by Gina
(Danbury, CT)

I am a mother of a 4 year old boy. He was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum in 08, speech delay, global delays such as fine and gross motor.

He has constipation issues which is off and on, we went to a holistic dr. who told us that he is allergic to everything except apples, but a regular allergist diagnosed him with NO allergies.

He didnt breast feed easily. His dr. diagnosed him at 18 months with not speaking, walking, being picky regarding eating. I was recommended to our local Birth-3 developmental organization for help and they worked with him. Although they did help him with walking, his speech is still not what i would call improved to this day.

Now he says very few words, such as hat, hi, ba,. He does say "way".

He still wants to eat baby food, since he is not getting nutrition any other way. He will not eat anything that i cook. Potty training is a nightmare, i paid $1,000.00 for a woman to come in and "teach him to pee and she does not teach bowel movements". She did state she worked with developmentally disabled kids. But now what do i do when he poops in his pants all the time. He does now pee in the potty.

He sees speech, occupational, physical therapists at school. He has a private speech, occupational therapist which we are paying through the nose and who want me to schedule a conf call between them and the school. Another private speech therapist we are using is more concerned about catching "germies" from kids, she has an artillary of antibacterial bottles all around her office.

And to put more whip cream on top of my situation, i am completly miserable in this marriage.

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Mar 17, 2010
My heart is breaking for you
by: Kate

Dear Gina -
I urge you to seek out a minister or counselor in your local area to provide you with some support for dealing with a special needs child and for your marriage. I don't know the situation for your marriage, but with all the stress you are dealing with regarding your child, it does strain a marriage. Paying for therapy compounds the problem with money issues in the marriage too. Even if it takes putting your child's issues on hold for a few months to work out your marriage issues, your child will benefit greatly from having two parents together supporting him.
As for your child's issues - it does take time and dedication to over come these things. Start by looking at his strengths. He does potty in the toilet, so he is half way to being trained! My son also had issues with not having BMs in the toilet & it went on for about 6 months. For him it was a power stuggle - so I just put him in Pullups during the day and when he did poop, I just cleaned him up and said something like - you will get it next time - so no pressure or pushing him to be a "big boy".
Having all of your son's therapists working together would be very benefical - if you can't schedule a telephone conference, could you take a note book to all therapy appts. and have the therapist write notes to each other?
As a mom you need to take care of yourself to be able to give the best to your child. I wish you the best, please give us an update sometime to let us know how things are going.

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